Under the bridge
Photo: Well done
Somehow, Eddie, Sean and Co. are still having that picnic on the beach. On what is likely Eddie’s tenth trip to the yacht, Captain Sean asks him to take a bag of seashells to his room – “and make sure we get all the price tags for the seashells as well.” Sir, I can promise you, all these women want at this point is booze and food by the water! “I am not a micromanager. I’m practical, ”Sean says in his confessional, a blatant lie that I hope will help him sleep well tonight.
The women finally arrive at their (not a) beach picnic an hour after it starts, enjoying rosé and coconut drinks donated by Fraser. Yes, after Heather had told her a few minutes before to ‘take that head of household off your butt’ and make the rooms perfect, she sent him to the beach to take care of the drink service instead, to his confusion and mine. Sean is still there too, for some reason, trying to be downright cool and hand one of the guests a seashell he “found”. “But can we have some snacks?” They ask, in a moment so perfectly evocative of what Sean think guests want versus what guests want Actually want to. He might like to brag about having worked all the jobs on a yacht, but there’s a reason captains don’t take care of service – although I reluctantly admit that his picnic setup was very beautiful.
But we no longer have to worry about Captain Sean putting his nose up on duty, because Lee is on his way home! He calls to let Sean know that he is coming to the boat later today and that Sean will have to abandon the boat. My Seanna after only a few days of directing it. To be fair, I’m a little disappointed that we don’t have more of a mess Sean after this season’s setup made such a big deal out of Lee’s absence. But at the same time, what is this show without the Haras de la Mer itself? Rachel puts it best after Sean breaks the news to the crew: “It’s a bummer to see someone leave, but don’t let the catwalk hit you in the ass on the way out, because my fucking Captain Lee is going. to recover.”
The glamorous photo of Captain Lee driving a water taxi to the yacht is an image I didn’t know I wanted but actually needed from the start. “I’d rather sand a tiger’s ass in a phone booth than miss the charter,” he laughs. How not to miss this man? Lee and Sean engage in a captain’s joke before Lee informs Sean that the water taxi is waiting. “Now get off my boat,” he said, into another perfect confessional within minutes.
Rachel kisses Lee before Heather has a particularly tricky first encounter with the Captain, who is still on the hunt for another great chef’s stew after Francesca doesn’t quite hit Kate Chastain’s standards. Next, Lee has a meeting with his right-hand man, Eddie, to talk about first officer things – including why Lee was off the boat. He dramatically pulls out medical documents and confidentially tells Eddie (while also telling millions of viewers) that he is undergoing treatment for AFib, or atrial fibrillation, a heart disease that he has had his entire life. Eddie looks a little surprised but agrees to treat Lee the same despite the news. “I’ll fuck you if you don’t,” Lee told her.
Lee joins the women for a second dinner, after Rachel brings him a plate on the deck earlier in the evening. But I see why he wouldn’t want to miss this, a Japanese tasting menu that is a classic and over the top Rachel. Everything looks perfect – takoyaki fritters, veggie gyozas, squash tempura, something with tuna – and guests love it.
We wake up the next morning to the soft sound of goats bleating on the shore. Heather, however, wakes up to the not-so-sweet sound of Nikki saying she hasn’t had any new towels in her room. Heather is immediately angry with Fraser; Fraser and Jess, chatting to themselves, just think these guests are using too many towels (something Jess also noted the night before). “So calm down, let’s be honest,” he said.
The morning is full of this kind of small damage which does not represent much. Jake breaks a glass and cuts his foot, sending Rayna to find a dustpan, which Heather doesn’t bother to help find. “Girl, goodbye,” Rayna said, earshot as she walked away. Lee and Eddie are greatly stressed by a tight tie-up which, as usual, is going well. And Rachel pronounces the breakfast special as shashushka rather than shakshuka, much to my personal irritation.
Nikki doesn’t leave without first stirring the pot and hinting at the “hiccups” with her bedroom. Still, she leaves Heather with her shiny captain’s hat for fixing these issues and leaves the rest of the crew with a tip of $ 18,000, or $ 1,500 per person. Not bad for a first charter! Although, of course, Captain Lee disagrees. After hearing about Heather’s problems, he reminds the team at the board meeting that “damn cancels 14 attaboys”. While Eddie praised his deck crew before the tip meeting, Heather didn’t get a proper account with her stews. She can tell Lee whatever she wants that’s not how she runs a department, but I don’t see much evidence to the contrary so far.
The crew goes out for a good dinner where the alcohol – and therefore the flirtations between Rayna and Jake – flows freely. At one point, Heather pulls Fraser aside for a toast that turns into Fraser telling Heather about her issues with the functioning of the interior. During his night’s rest! Heather talks lip service to him about the “big picture” and how things got messed up because she was getting used to the boat. But stay, nothing changed with the arrangement of having Fraser in the lead of service and housekeeping, which is the root of the problem here! And Fraser sees through it all. “You can’t warm up with an ice cube,” he says of his management.
But the real mess of the night concerns Jake and Rayna, who don’t even wait to get back to the boat before they start kissing. They decide to hang out in the hot tub, with poor Fraser, already relegated to the rank of third wheel (although he is sitting next to Jake in the van and chatting with him in the hot tub while Rayna is away – I see you, Fraser!). Once Fraser is gone, Rayna and Jake kiss on the deck, on the dock, in the crew’s mess, and almost in one of their cabins before deciding to go their separate ways for the night. But before going to bed, Rayna texts “I miss you ❤️” to someone named Issa. “Oh Rayna, why did you do that?” She said in a confessional before admitting that she is currently talking to someone other as well – and leaving us on the cliffhanger! Will Rayna talk to Jake about this next episode? Almost certainly not, but we’ll watch a belligerent drunk guest fight his wife.
• Jake repeatedly admits he enjoys being pegged – information that bodes well for me to send him along with Fraser, although he seems to want Rayna to peg for now.
• Rachel says Lee in his new black jacket reminds her of Captain Marko Ramius of Hunting in the month of red October, and the resemblance is really strange.
• Rayna isn’t the only one on board talking to someone. Heather is dating a former charter guest, which she admits to being “kind of a taboo, but it’s also one of the hottest relationships I’ve ever had.” And Eddie has a girlfriend, who is currently at his home in Baltimore and who he is excited to eventually settle down with.
• Captain Lee on Rachel: “It’s been a long time since someone told me to have sex with myself and got away with it. And on the mooring: “I’m as nervous as a cat with a long tail in a room full of rocking chairs.” Really, how could you not miss this man?